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“Give. But don’t allow yourself to be used. Love. But don’t allow your heart to be abused. Trust. But don’t be naive. Listen. But don’t lose your own voice.” — Unknown. 

Do you ever feel used? I do. I find myself more and more both loving and despising what I do. I love helping fill needs. I love assisting to bring peace to chaos. I love seeing full surrender from folks when they stop fighting their battles and come to the calm found only in Jesus. I love that folks trust me and contact me for prayers via text, call, email. I love when folks truly in need lay their pride aside and humbly seek assistance. I truly do love being the good needed. To be completely real though…I don’t enjoy when folks seek help simply because it’s easier to get Cameron to do this than for them to attempt. I don’t enjoy having folks constantly remind me of how busy I am and how I need to learn to say no and how I need to stop doing so much then turn and ask me to do more items and pile even more onto the plate in which they just reprimanded me for being so full. I love ministering but I don’t enjoy when certain ones only desire ministering when life is hard, someones sick, someones dying or struggling but not when life is peachy and all are well. I become overwhelmed and frustrated when I’m only called for needs or emergencies and not for ice cream, dinner, a ball game, great laughs and good times. I enjoy fun times too, you know. 

I often feel used. Then it hits me….I do the exact same things to God. While I want to talk to Him nonstop, and I want to only give praises and thanksgivings, and I want to bring nothing but joy and goodness to His thrown…I often seem to only grumble, complain, vent, cry out in anger, frustrations, anxieties and concerns. While I often feel as if I’m the worlds magic genie hidden until there’s a need, freed simply to grant the wish of the one who comes. God’s not a genie either. He desires I live with Him instead of just visiting every now and then. He desires I walk with Him instead of insisting on short cuts. He desires I surrender my all instead of trying to just have my own way. 

“One of the cruelest things you can do to another person is pretend you care about them more than you really do.” — Douglas Coupland 

Maybe it’s time I stop giving God my blemished sacrifices (Malachi 1:6-14). 

Rev. J. Cameron Bailey is pastor of Kenbridge Christian Church. He can be reached at jamescameronbailey@gmail.com.